Help! I hate my child's teacher


"It's actually sweet, all the time you've spent on me"

Actually Romantic by Taylor Swift (loving the new album!)

Hi Reader,

πŸ‘‹ Welcome to my 20 new email subscribers! It was so great meeting you at the Chantilly Neighborhood Association last week

Help! I hate my child's teacher

I met someone at a school fair last week that anxiously confided to me that she hates her daughter's teacher. I could tell this concern had been eating away at her.

She listed a number of things: the teacher was inexperienced, her daughter was getting singled out and embarrassed in class, she's complaining of boredom, and the teacher didn't communicate well.

On top of it- the school year before had been a tough one. She had been looking forward to a fresh start...but it's starting to feel like round two.

So what should you do?

  • Reflect: Before you take any action, sort through your feelings. You don't want to show up with a laundry list of problems and emotions. I could tell this mom was still reacting to the prior school, which made her concerns even stronger. While her feelings are valid, they aren't relevant to the new school year. Make a list of the problems and emphasize the ones that most impact your child.
  • Reach Out: For problems on a smaller level, I always recommend you reach out directly to your child's teacher. It shows that you are working on a team with your child's teacher...But given how big these problems seemed, I recommended she go to a trusted school administrator (principal, dean, etc). Send an email that is brief- something like this:
    • Dear ___, I'm reaching out regarding my child ____ in ____'s class. I have concerns regarding my child's happiness and academic growth in class. My child has been coming home and feeling ___ every day and complaining they do not want to go to school. Can we have a meeting this week to discuss these concerns? I want to work together ensure my child is having the best experience possible at school every day. Thank you, ____
  • Reevaluate: My hope from here is that you'll have a one on one call with the school administrator. This may lead to another meeting with the teacher as well. When you share concerns, always keep it focused on your child and their overall well being. Give it some time, it can take a few weeks for problems to truly get solved. These meetings may get emotional, but never yell. Keep in close touch and email every few weeks checking in with teacher or principal on your child.
  • ...And if that doesn't work? We are reaching the very end of the time that you could push for a new teacher or even change schools. After a month or two in school it's a harder change to make. It's controversial and hard to achieve- but if that's where you are...raise some hell. When you do get a new teacher, work hard to show them that you appreciate this fresh start. It's a lot of work to get a new student.

Have you been in a situation like this? What did you do? Respond to this email to share!

What's New?

🎀 Chantilly: Last week I shared a custom version of The School Talk Workshop with the Chantilly Neighborhood Association. We were able to take a deep dive into the local school and nearby private/ magnet schools. The coolest part? The two people that suggested me to the board attended the very first version of the School Talk Workshop. I can't tell you how meaningful it is that they shared my workshop with their community 🩷

πŸŽ‚ Birthday Stuff: Thanks for all the birthday love last week. My husband and I woke up Friday morning and ran the 10k we've been training for. 10 years ago I would have scoffed at this, but it was really cool to wake up and honor my health + body. Don't worry- there was plenty of celebrating too! We had dinner, I got a massage, and was a social butterfly all weekend.

🍎 Workshops: New workshops dates for October and November are getting released tomorrow! If you're interested, make sure you're on the waitlist for early access and a special discount- click here!​

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Have a great week!

Primary Focus Newsletter

Learn about the latest news in education and tips to help your kids thrive in elementary school. Delivered to your inbox every Tuesday. Primary Focus was founded by Natalie Parmenter, a former kindergarten teacher to guide parents through elementary school. We provide information that is often common knowledge to teachers but is not widely known among parents. Primary Focus is dedicated to enlightening parents on all things elementary school so their children can thrive.

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