"I keep my side of the street clean,

you wouldn't know what I mean"

Karma by Taylor Swift

Hi Reader,

Today I'm going to type out a lesson for kids that I'm still grappling with as an adult...

What does respect look like, and how tangled is that with being nice?

Any kiddo that's ever copped an attitude, talked back, or had a meltdown has faced the same question. How far do we stretch our decorum for something we don't respect? How do we respect something we hate? And when can we question what we respect to set a boundary?

For your kiddo, it may be respecting their teacher 8 hours a day, it might be following directions during practice, it might be completing their chores, or walking down the hallway when they'd rather run. These are simulations of the things they'll need to do as an adult to stay employed, have a nice home, respect their partner, and ultimately develop their own understanding of things they can endure vs things they should change.

Here are a few tips to start this conversation:

Discuss it Abstractly: If you're in battle with your child or they are processing a bigger issue, it can be hard to introduce a complicated topic like this. Wait for moments where things are calm. Try to role play conversations from events they know about or your own interactions.

Distinguish Actions: Respect, Obedience, and Nice have three very different meanings. It's common for people pleasing children to go out of their way to be nice to people they don't like. In their efforts to "kill them with kindness," they may end up hurting themselves. Help your child understand that basic decorum and etiquette are different than being nice.

Set the Example: Kids are always watching us, and how we model respect can leave a lasting impression. Share with your child when you’ve chosen respect in a tough situation—maybe it’s how you handle a challenging coworker or manage a disagreement politely. These examples help them see the balance between being respectful and standing firm.

Practice Setting Boundaries: Help your child find their voice to set boundaries respectfully. For instance, they might say, “I don’t like when you talk to me like that, but I’ll listen if you’re calm.” Teach them to pair respect with assertiveness so they don’t feel powerless in situations that require both.

Celebrate Progress: When your child handles a challenging situation with respect—whether it’s following directions at practice or working through a disagreement with a peer—acknowledge it. Praise their effort to navigate the balance between respect and self-advocacy. It reinforces the value of these skills and encourages them to keep practicing.

Suggested Reading:

What Do You Do with a Problem? by Kobi Yamada​
​This New York Times Best Seller picture book encourages kids to face challenges with courage, showing that solutions often come from within. A book for kids and adults who have ever had to solve a problem.

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes​
​This classic explores the consequences of bullying and the importance of treating others with respect, even when they seem different. This is a long picture book.

Ghost by Jason Reynolds​
​Book 1 of the Track series, this story follows Ghost, a boy learning to navigate tough situations and stand up for what matters to him, including self-respect. Great chapter book for kids interested in sports.

Respect is a lifelong lesson, and every conversation you have helps shape how your child navigates the world. It’s not about getting it perfect every time but about building their confidence to make thoughtful, balanced choices. ❤️

What's New?

🤪 What vlog?: Y'all I am so behind on my youtube videos! Please cheer me on when I finally release one this week. I've been working behind the scenes on so many things I can't wait to show you this year.

🇺🇸 For the kids: There's one thing in this life that will always be consistent- and that's change. The changing of administration has already lead to a dizzying amount of change. I want to make it clear that through all this change, Primary Focus stands with the children of the United States. We care about ALL children, their educations, their parents / caretakers, and the opportunity to grow up to be happy, productive adults. 🩷

Things I Love

🧴 Winter Face Cream: This time of year my skin can get really dry, but heavy face lotions make me nervous. They often make me break out or feel sticky. I've been using Kate Somerville's DeliKate Recovery Cream a few times a week with success. I even had a reaction to hairspray behind my ears, the cream soothed it and healed the area within a few days.

🧢 Best Winter Hat: Speaking of winter weather, my favorite winter hat is a game changer for it's third year in a row! Featured on Shark Tank, Kin Apparel designs satin lined beanies, hoodies, and more to keep your hair frizz free all winter. My hair used to be a tangled mess after wearing a hat, now I just slip it on and off all day no problem. They carry products for men and women. Use the Code MLK20 for 20% off today only.

💕 Kindness and Respect Matter- make sure to treat yourself with kindness and respect too,