"Mama said there’d be days like this."

Mama Said by The Shirelles

Hi Reader,

When your child gets in trouble at school, it can feel overwhelming. You hear about it secondhand and try to balance your child’s version with the teacher’s. You’re managing their feelings, questioning the consequence, and juggling dinner and evening activities—all at once.

Here are a few tips from a seasoned teacher to help you navigate this tricky situation:

1. Teachers Put on Pressure

• When an issue is serious, repetitive, or affecting others, teachers may contact you frequently. It might feel like your child is being singled out, but it’s about working together.
• If your child is worried about you being contacted, teachers will sometimes use this as a motivator for better behavior.
• Pro Tip: Collaborate with the teacher! Use common language and consistent consequences at home and school.
• If you notice long-term patterns, consider whether special needs may be behind the behavior and ask questions.

2. Little Kids Lie, Big Kids Omit

How do I know this? It's a part of child development! Of course it depends on your child's personality, but many behaviors are predictable by age. I highly recommend Yardsticks by Chip Wood to understand your child's phase in development.

• Younger children (5-7): They may embellish or make up stories to avoid consequences.
• Older kids (9+): They’re more likely to omit details—either because it didn’t seem like a big deal or they feel self-conscious.

3. It’s Not Always a Big Deal

• If the teacher hasn’t followed up or seems unconcerned, the issue might not be as big as your child says.
• If your child is upset, reach out to the teacher to clarify and share what’s bothering your child.

What I Wish I Could Tell Teachers

Discipline practices have shifted significantly. At my school, we were no longer allowed to take recess away as punishment—it was deemed equivalent to an employee’s break. We could only keep kids out of recess for safety reasons.

This change pushed me to rethink how I approached consequences, and it’s when I learned about the power of meaningful consequences.

The Power of Meaningful Consequences

• Immediate: Address the behavior in the moment rather than hours later.
• Relevant: Make the consequence directly tied to the action.
  • Example: If a student mishandles materials, take the materials away.
  • Example: If they disrupt others on the rug, have them sit in a separate chair nearby.

This approach transformed my classroom. I realized that many young kids—especially 5-year-olds—don’t even remember why they’re being punished hours later. A 2 PM consequence for a 9 AM behavior doesn’t resonate and doesn’t teach the lesson effectively.

By focusing on timely and relevant responses, I saw improvement in behavior and classroom dynamics. It’s a small shift, but it makes a huge difference.

What's New?

🎥 New Video: This Wednesday I'll be release my final Banned Book Game of the year. Usually I just do 1-2, but since they have been performing so well I've created 4 this year. Click here to remind you when it's out!​

🍂 Shopping small: I've been trying to support small businesses for Christmas this year, so I went to a huge market with hundreds of stalls. I discovered a store called Fancy Concrete that had great gifts. We got a gorgeous new decorative bowl for our home

Things I Love

🎄 SO GOOD: This tea tastes like Christmas in a cup. It's a black tea with cinnamon, clove, ginger, and a hint of sweetness. I've been drinking it on cold mornings and it's so tasty!

🛍️ Keep them busy: Every year Mike gets me a fun advent calendar. This year I decided to surprise him with his own: Professor Charlie's World Tour. This can be used as a set of fun puzzles or a Christmas countdown (no holiday packaging on it- just happens to be 24 challenges). Every day he solves the puzzle to get one step closer to finding out Professor Charlie's secret! Great for clever kids and husbands ages 9+

📚 Easy: Did you know young children benefit from reading the same books again and again? But to get the most out of this experience, an adult should be having meaningful conversations with them. But how can you think of something to say beyond basics? This book subscription provides no/low prep activities, comprehension questions, and a map to track your child's progress. No commitment, you can try for one month or the whole year.

Have a wonderful week!